Monday, September 26, 2005

I was feeling empty on the train ride home today...
Like I can't sit still, like I am agitated as if I'm impatient that this boring train ride would never end.
It's the end of a working day, yet I don't feel like I have much to look forward to. Slowly, it's as if life is beginning to pale away, like faded pages in an ancient book, turning stale and unused. It's interesting why I would use that analogy, just yesterday i went out latin dancing. I just can't be content with being on my own all the time. I think I'm a social creature, I need to be surrounded by people or else I'll go insane.
How do you describe today? Just fatigue, all day long... Waiting and waiting for the day to end. Sigh...then I come home to this. It's satisfying having a well cooked dinner with parents, but now the long cherished time I have awaited for during those working hours has become this...
It's great to be idle, when you are at peace with yourself.
Tonight I am not.
Too many random thoughts run through my head, I am impatient, as if I am waiting for something massive to hit me. I think it will. Ever since they mailed me the employment contract I've been working like a robot, endlessly laboring over those assignments and research notes, satisfied only once I tick off one of the many checklist points I made myself in order to get everything organised in time.
Maybe it's not good thinking about this too much. Perhaps my busy mind will slowly rest, once fatigue takes over and rescue me away.

xiao ying @ 7:18 PM.