Wednesday, October 19, 2005

My feet felt light tonight as I walked home in the light drizzling rain. The air was warm and gentle raindrops tapped to the beat of the music playing in my mp3 player. Feeling the coolness on my skin, my face, shoulders, arms and legs felt great! It was the first time I walked home in a summery dress without feeling cold for a long while, what a liberating sensation.
On the way, I was overwhelmed by a huge surge of happiness, I had this sudden impulse to stop and dance to the music in the rain. Closing my eyes, tilting my head to the sky and feeling the raindrops on my face, it was as if I turned 10 again. So free, so ever grateful of my youth, my health, and my ability to enjoy this moment.
I suppose seeing lots of elderly, disadvantaged patients in this society helps me gain alot of interesting perspectives in life. They would tell me lots of stories of when they were young, and giving me tips on how to live a long and healthy life. I have come across patients from all walks of life this year, the arrogant, the angry, the easily excitable, the melancholy and the extremely sick...I have dealt with poor souls taking 10 types of tablets for their heart, blood pressure, cholesterol, diabetes and cancer, those sick and gaunt with AIDS, and even helped diagnose a poor lady with brain tumor. Sometimes I felt so sick and so sad after consulting disabled patients, beside from the stench, I saw the way they jerked and waved their arms and legs uncontrollably, unable to express their inner selves, having to endure endless ridicule and pity from the society. I felt for them, yet it's times when I stop, listen sympathetically and squeeze their hands for encouragment that I notice the look of gratefulness in their eyes and realise why I find this job rewarding. Many of those dear Italian/greek grandmas would hug me and kiss me on the cheek to say thanks for my consultation. It's so good making a small bit of difference in their lives, and those frustrations for having to repeat the same simple concept 4 times before they understand or hear you what try to convey just vanish away. After the warm squeeze in hand shake, under the grateful thankyou and hug. Perhaps working in this field has given me the insight to be humble. Because of this I appreciate what I have so much more.
I feel so lucky.

xiao ying @ 7:06 PM.