Saturday, January 14, 2006
For the second morning in a row I woke up confused about where I was. Both mornings I dreamt that I was back home in Melbourne before the alarm clock went off. It was always about my family, our family business and the anxieties associated with it. Last night I dreamt vividly about the ability to change the future by going back to the past. Exciting and surreal, it's as if I discovered I possess powers like the guy in 'the butterfly effect'. I remember breathing a deep sigh of relief when my parents regained their Seaford Milkbar and that they were stable and at peace again. I pray that soon they will find a successful business.
I wake up to Neil's voice every morning, stored in a form of a cute cartoon rat alarm clock. Hearing his voice in the brings a sense of warmth and reminds me of those good old Melbourne days when we would spend hours of idle times together, sharing almost everything. Since the day we seperated I found myself going through bouts of crying spells, it was embarrassing, even my colleagues saw my red eyes. The first week was the hardest, that was when I got so wrecked with fever I hardly had the energy to get out of bed. Nowadays, I would occassionally feel a pang of loneliness, but I have learnt to handle things on my own and develope that extra layer of skin. It's a steep learning curve becoming totally self dependent in a different country, but deep inside I know it's good for me.
Being single all of a sudden feels strange.
Suddenly I'm getting lots of male attention again, guys from all walks of life wanting my number, dine and dance with me. They like my 'proper' english and chinese accent, does that make me exotic? lol. I suppose it's flattering in way, but it's far from the stability and comfort of being with that special someone. I'm taking care of myself better nowadays, my cooking has improved and I stick to healthy food with plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables. I exercise regularly and signed up with a fitness center. In addition to looking better and possessing more energy, I'm discovering a whole new world of meditation, yoga and relaxation. I party hard when I want to, going to new clubs in town and reaping the benefits of 'ladies night' when I can go in for free.
Best part of being young, healthy and free? You can do whatever you like. The world is truly yours to explore and you spend your time however way you want it.
Somehow I feel lucky.
xiao ying @ 1:17 PM.
Name: Xiao Ying
Year of birth: 1982
Star Sign: Scorpio
Goal: To capture moments in life, and share it with those who matter
|MY PHOTO ALBUM|
|| Thailand ||
|| Recent shots ||
|| Joyce ||
|| Jacob ||
|| Allee ||
|| Kla ||
|| Grace ||
|| Tian ||
|| Hiro ||
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|| Cloris ||
|| Harvard) ||
|| CJ ||
|| Kawei ||
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|| Steven ||
|| Chloe ||
|| Ling ||
|| blog ||
"NOW" is a gift, that's why they call it "THE PRESENT"
Travel life has the essence of a dream.
It is something outside the normal,
yet you are in it.
It is peopled with characters you have never seen before
and in all probability will never see again.
It brings occasional homesickness, and loneliness,
and pangs of longings...
But you are like the vikings who have gone into a world of adventure,
and home is not home until you return.
But home is where the heart is.
So where is home?
Dance like no one is watching
Love like you've never been hurt
Sing like no one's listening
Live like it's heaven on earth
Chocolate flows in deep dark, sweet waves, a river to ignite the mind and alert the senses...
Unexpected events in our daily lives are like different flavors that lie waiting beneath each chocolate cover.
Just like Forrest Gump explained:
"Life is like a box of chocolate, coz you never know what you're gonna get"