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Monday, March 27, 2006


Many plants have thorns, beware of them when you venture deep into ancient Malaysian jungle.

Tonight I'm inspired to reflect.

You learn so much living life on the independent road. So many boundries to cross, where the unfamiliar terrain is buzzing with excitment and surprise. It can be terrifying but insightful, lonesome but strength-gathering, melancholy but more often than not, joyfous and fun.
A friend once joked to me in an comical exaggerated manner, "Moving to another country, it'll be the MAKING of you, it'll be the MAKING of you…" In a way, there is some truth to it. A friend recently was shocked and admired my courage for going to Bangkok alone. If the person I was 2 years ago looked at how I live my life now, I'd probably react the same way.

Thanks to meditation, I feel inspired about my profession again. I feel a dignified need for the job that I do, that sense of satisfaction from being able to help, contribute, and make the smallest difference in people's lives. To make them feel happier in their day is actually quite rewarding. Sometimes the difference can even be life changing, as I learnt through one of my dear meditation teacher 'Mandy'. I guess I tend to lose sight of this while working under stress.

Mandy is one of the most awsome, inspiring teachers from the meditation camp. He suffers Glaucoma and Age Related Macular Degeneration, sadly most of his vision is lost because the disease is too far advanced. To witness someone dear to you suffer night blindness, stumbling in the dark trying to find the door and getting confused…to think that I have the ability to provide early detection of these diseases and halt the worsening, how much difference would I make to the rest of their lives??

Now that's kinda inspiring.

I also learnt that human beings are complex creatures, that what you see on the surface is not exactly what you get. As for dealing with my own emotions, I am slowly learning to acknowledge what goes on inside my head more, gaining greater self control and a heightened sense of self awareness. One of the lessons they taught at meditation is letting go, detaching yourself from the emotions to gain clearer perspective, like viewing yourself through a cleanly washed mirror, without the smudges of emotion blurring the view. If something bothers you and it's out of control, don't waste time and energy worrying about it. If you are fearful or frustrated about something, it's a signal that it's time to prepare yourself and plan your strategy. Always see problems as challenges, learn from them and you will become a stronger person. Do not fret if you fail, just dust yourself off and try again, this time do things alittle differently. Do persist, and avoid finding the easiest way out by avoiding problems. Face your fears head on.

xiao ying @ 3:05 AM.

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