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Wednesday, June 24, 2009

(above: me photographing cape shank sunrise at 5am)

My mind has been more alert these nights, so active it refuses to rest. I like drowning my restlessness in my own thoughts, accompanied by relaxing melodies during these early hours. It's like resting beside a peaceful reflection pond, as I try to hold onto the hours, minutes and seconds.... A silly logic of mine thinks that by writing it all down I am holding onto these precious moments, a life switched on 'pause', moments to be appreciated so that they're not wasted.

Through the calm waters, a few choppy waters come along the way, you don't realize it until you're in amidst the storm. We always have a choice, to embrace and fight, or to succumb and weaken.

But then there is so much to appreciate as well. I would describe my current situation as a roller coaster, highs and lows, but generally a lot better than the past few months. I feel calmer and happier about where I am at. Past woes left behind and looking forward to a bright new future. Once I learn to let go, I realize that one can go through lots of shit and still be ok in the end. In fact, stronger, wiser.

No matter what stage of life, the most important relationship of all is one that you have with yourself. One always has a choice, and my vision for a happy future still holds bright and clear like a morning sun on a colorful dawning horizon.

xiao ying @ 12:11 AM.

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