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Thursday, October 20, 2005




How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind is the most sublimely comic and achingly real love story I've seen in a very long time. You don't just watch a love story -- you fall in love with what love really is.

xiao ying @ 7:26 PM.

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Wednesday, October 19, 2005


My feet felt light tonight as I walked home in the light drizzling rain. The air was warm and gentle raindrops tapped to the beat of the music playing in my mp3 player. Feeling the coolness on my skin, my face, shoulders, arms and legs felt great! It was the first time I walked home in a summery dress without feeling cold for a long while, what a liberating sensation.
On the way, I was overwhelmed by a huge surge of happiness, I had this sudden impulse to stop and dance to the music in the rain. Closing my eyes, tilting my head to the sky and feeling the raindrops on my face, it was as if I turned 10 again. So free, so ever grateful of my youth, my health, and my ability to enjoy this moment.
I suppose seeing lots of elderly, disadvantaged patients in this society helps me gain alot of interesting perspectives in life. They would tell me lots of stories of when they were young, and giving me tips on how to live a long and healthy life. I have come across patients from all walks of life this year, the arrogant, the angry, the easily excitable, the melancholy and the extremely sick...I have dealt with poor souls taking 10 types of tablets for their heart, blood pressure, cholesterol, diabetes and cancer, those sick and gaunt with AIDS, and even helped diagnose a poor lady with brain tumor. Sometimes I felt so sick and so sad after consulting disabled patients, beside from the stench, I saw the way they jerked and waved their arms and legs uncontrollably, unable to express their inner selves, having to endure endless ridicule and pity from the society. I felt for them, yet it's times when I stop, listen sympathetically and squeeze their hands for encouragment that I notice the look of gratefulness in their eyes and realise why I find this job rewarding. Many of those dear Italian/greek grandmas would hug me and kiss me on the cheek to say thanks for my consultation. It's so good making a small bit of difference in their lives, and those frustrations for having to repeat the same simple concept 4 times before they understand or hear you what try to convey just vanish away. After the warm squeeze in hand shake, under the grateful thankyou and hug. Perhaps working in this field has given me the insight to be humble. Because of this I appreciate what I have so much more.
I feel so lucky.

xiao ying @ 7:06 PM.

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Sunday, October 09, 2005




As the church door opens, daylight flooded the red carpet passageway. The aisles were decorated with elegant bows and white lillies; beautifully dressed people stood, their attentions directed at the white sillouette of the bride and her father in the doorway. To the sound of soft classical music, slowly she walked down the aisle to the beaming groom. She looked radiant in white. She was a picture of true happiness.

That was my classmate's wedding, the first ever christian wedding I've been to in Australia.What a memorable day it was! The reception was held at the peak of Mt Dandenong, with the view of Melbourne's sunset and fog drifting across the place like a dreamy fairytale. To see more photos: go to my photoalbum

xiao ying @ 4:14 PM.

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Monday, October 03, 2005


The world slows down as the millions of lights across the city glow and twinkle in the night. Suddenly Punt Rd isn't gridlocked anymore and the occassional dopler effect of a car speeding by would appear surprisingly fast. Sometimes if you hold your breath long enough, you sense the kind of agitation to realise what it's like to be enclosed in a confined environment. Some rare nights I would wake up in the wee hours of the morning and find it hard to go back to sleep. Staring at shadows cast by the moonlight, I feel enlightened somehow for breaking away from the monotonous daily ritual. It's the treadmill effect I think, when days are made for eat, sleep and work...When thoughts of conflict run their course through the mind, you earn for human contact. Of course, I stop myself from reaching the phone and waking them from their blissful slumber. Then I realise how much I enjoy sitting here on my own, just daydreaming, or flipping through trashy brainless magazines.

When sleep is deprived, the days melt into each other like a surreal dream. Everything you do during the day becomes trance-like; the noctural body finding it strange to adjust to the glare of sunlight. Ahh, the intoxication of the sleepdeprived, so very much like being drunk. I find myself behaving very outgoing during those wee hours, no inhibition whatsoever. That attitude of 'I don't give a f*^$' is quite liberating actually, I suppose that's the time of the day when you connect to people the most.

Ok, gonna escape this computer screen and immerse myself under the steady warm steam of shower water.
G'night.

xiao ying @ 7:52 PM.

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