Thursday, February 22, 2007
I have always imaginged myself to be the type who would scream and panic in fright, because I'm such a scaredy cat. One of my worst fears is to leave this world alone, without anyone dear to me closeby during my final moments. Strangely my actual reaction was quite different yesterday. I was calmer than I ever imagined myself to be. It did cross my mind that the plane may never land. Yet I simply returned to my book pretending that nothing bad will happen. That psychology of denial actually worked. Besides, I told myself, whether or not I panic will not make a difference to the ultimate outcome-I was not in control of the plane.
So the weather was terrible and the plane rattled from side to side as it attempted to make its first landing. Several kids, including a girl sitting right behind me screamed continuously as the plane descended sharply. I got pretty annoyed and thought that bearing a few more minutes of this and I'll be out the plane. So I shifted my focus back onto my book.
Several minutes later, the pilot announced that we couldn't land without providing any explanation, and told us he will try again. So we must have ascended and did a U-turn for another attempted landing. Again second time, my ears felt the cabin pressure and endured the screaming kid in the backseat. Again we ascended because no luck the second time. After a failed third attempt, the captain announced that we will head to another airport. Apparently the poor weather meant poor visibility for landing, the captain apologised.
So as the plane bounced on the tarmac loudly and shakily landed at Brisbane airport, I overheard the passenger next to me finally sigh with relief, 'I must admit I've never been this happy to be on the ground.' Another lady exclaimed that she was scared because she thought there was something wrong with the underbelly of the plane-which was why it couldn't land. Funny how I was more focused on my book than the actual incidence, there was not even a hint of panic. I simply ignored the situation and forgot to fear. Which reminds me of a quote I heard once:
'your mind sees what it chooses to see'.
Labels: confrontation, fear, lessons learnt
xiao ying @ 10:13 PM.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
It's been a while since I last blogged. My previous apartment had the worst internet connection, so I guess I just stopped. Maybe I'll get back into it slowly again...
I just had the most massive meal cooked by my parents tonight, the lobster was about 1 meter long, no kidding. Everyone was talking loudly and randomly in true fuqin style. I just had to shake my head and smile. Yup, I'm home.
Ahhh Melbourne, hate it or love it it's still my city. Eventually I will be back one day for good, deep down I know it. Perhaps it's the family, the friends, and maybe also that yearning for that bit of stability and big city girl lifestyle. I'm excited at the prospect.
At the meantime, I'm sweating it out under the swelting 30 degree heat, feeling bloated thanks to the 'da nian 30' meal tucked inside under my belt/dress.
Finally, Happy Chinese New year everyone!! Apparently the year of the dog was bad luck for the puppies (I am one), so thus I heartily embrace the year of the pig, bring it on, whoohoo!
Better luck this year puppies ;)
xiao ying @ 11:15 PM.