Thursday, December 11, 2008

Many times I sit and stare into the darkness of the sea. I enjoy solitary moments of reflection as I listen to the gentle lapping waves, bringing me serenity, nostalgia, longing and sometimes a dose of hope. I remember doing this on the shorelines of Thailand, at the sunshine coast, at camping trips under the magnificent sky of a million of stars.

These nights, I drift asleep to the sounds of the ocean played by my ipod sound system. I bid myself good night before I switch off the lights. Sweet dreams baby.

These days,

I cry my heart out, cry myself to sleep asking why. Realizing why, repeating the process over and over until I think I finally get it
Reconnect with close friends
Book myself a pampering massage and manicure telling myself that I’m worth it
Invite friends to celebrate my 26th birthday
Start to go out lots and socialize with many different new and random people again
Eat lots of chocolate
Photograph lots of weddings, and obsess over happy couples in love
Bond closer with my parents
Dance like crazy
Sing till I cry, sing till I laugh, sing till my throat hurts

Take a deep breath, start afresh. After all, tomorrow is another brand new day.
I will move on, I always do. Next time, things will be different. I will meet my soulmate. Someone I can sit there, and watch the ocean, share the moment in silence between the gentle lapping waves. Good night baby. Sweet dreams.

xiao ying @ 2:25 AM.